Life has a way of throwing things at us that we didn’t expect. Big things that are hard to comprehend, and that we didn’t plan for, can leave us wondering why?

If we don’t seek some kind of meaning or learning, what is the purpose? There are so many things burdening my heart and in these times I refuse to accept that there is no purpose.

There may be a time when all of these ideas come together to make more sense. But, for now the best I can do is collect my scattered thoughts here.

Maybe we can make sense of them together. Maybe we can’t. Maybe in a few months I will read this list and change my mind about some of them. Or, maybe my thoughts will come to life and these will be the chapter names of my first book. 😉

Either way, dear reader, welcome to the parts of my brain where things get a little cloudy and a little clearer all at the same time!

1. No matter how comfortable we are with processing emotions, when they hit hard they can knock the wind out of us.
2. Having trusted family and friends to process through emotions before responding is invaluable.
3. The right decision can still be hard. (At first)
4. Apologizing when you hurt someone is always right.
5. Carrying the guilt and burden of another person’s emotions for too long will make you resentful.
6. Good friends and family can have their feelings hurt, and still love one another.
7. Reasoning goes right out the window when we feel big things. Breathe, pray, call a friend, pause before you respond.
8. Seeking validation from other people for how you are feeling can leave you lopsided in your perspective. They will validate your feelings because they heard your version and, if you’re lucky, they know your heart. Still take the time to see things from the other side.
9. People-pleasing isn’t healthy. Once you have been a people-pleaser some people will prefer you stay in that role because it serves them better than your boundaries.
10. Do not mistake kindness for weakness. Choosing kindness shows a lot of strength.
11. Anger is the secondary emotion we use to mask the more vulnerable ones. Knowing this will help us when controlling our own emotions, but also when responding to others’ anger.
12. The loudest voice is not always the most important, sometimes it just needs to be heard.
13. When you care deeply for people you wish them well and you mean it.
14. Don’t put off the hard conversations, they just get harder. (I’m learning)
15. Everyone expresses pain in different ways. We are all coming from different places, have experienced different things and process at different speeds.
16. Be forgiving.
17. We all have moments we wish we could go back and do over. Don’t judge people too harshly on their moments, yours aren’t pretty either.
18. Social media can be a scary place.
19. Facebook’s algorithms will validate you by sending you quotes that support your beliefs making you feel empowered. What it is really doing is creating more divisiveness by making you feel more right.
20. They say you can make statistics say whatever you really want if you present them in the right way. There are a lot of quotes like that too!
21. Big emotions are hard. They can make you feel like you are drowning.
22. Sometimes good people hurt you, they are still good people.
23. No feeling lasts forever.
24. Sometimes it’s not what you say it’s how you say it…but sometimes it is what you say.
25. We all mess up…Grace, Grace, and more Grace
26. Change is exciting and scary and hard and sad and…and…and!
27. My dad is wise and says things like, “treasure the moments that make us human” and “you’ll figure it out in the struggle,” but he also says, “keep cool in the motor pool” so…🤷🏻‍♀️
28. People will not always see the best in you, look for the best in them anyway.
29. Life is hard, relationships are hard, making decisions is hard.
30. Do your best to respond with empathy.
31. We are all doing our very best.