Love, Courtney

People love to root for an underdog, unless the underdog starts to win a little too much. If an underdog starts to win too much they are no longer viewed through the same lens. They are viewed instead through a microscope.

Microscopes look closely at something to reveal what is there beyond the naked eye. It has the ability to show the inner workings of a person or an organization. It can expose the cracks, flaws and irregularities along with the unique qualities that are present within an individual or group of individuals.

What is viewed through the microscopic lens is determined by what the person looking through the lens is searching for.

When viewed as an underdog, people are looking for the qualities that make you special. The grit, perseverance and determination that underdogs have lights a flame of inspiration in anyone who has been an underdog before. It is a reminder to people that they too can do great things.

The underdog lens is broad and focused on the qualities that make an underdog successful. It is a beautiful thing. Society loves to rally behind a person or team that exhibits these qualities.

But undoubtedly, when the underdog begins to win, or garner too much attention, the lens will begin to get more focused. There is a shift in the narrative.

Our society is full of examples of this. Cancel culture is a perfect example. A different standard is suddenly applied as a person develops a platform. It is as if people lose a bit of their humanity as they gain notoriety. They are no longer allowed to be human and make mistakes without scrutiny and criticism. Somehow their success should have developed in them an ability to be the perfect role model for a society that has everchanging beliefs about how a person “should be”.

While this example is at a level most of us will never experience, anyone who has lived in a small town or experienced high school, knows that this example happens all the time in our communities.

Dear daughter(s) please remember: You can’t control the lens through which you are viewed. You cannot control what the person looking through the lens is looking for. You cannot control every narrative.

You can control how you show up. You can control the beliefs and values that you use to form the foundation of who you are.

And you can 100% control how you look into the microscope. What you are looking for you will undoubtedly find more of. Look for flaws…you will find them. Look for the good…you will find it.

Cheer for the underdog. Cheer for the winner. Look for the good in all things. Notice the things in others that you do not want to embody, but don’t judge them for it. Each of us has flaws and shortcomings and to be judged for them or to have them broadcast to others in a demeaning way is heartbreaking.

Let life smooth the edges of your flaws and trust that the same process is happening for others.

Every single person is a work in progress. Please use a lens of grace with others and with yourself.